June 29, 2022

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The elites are lying about the Will Smith slap

3 min read

I don’t believe for a minute that Will Smith’s “slap” of Chris Rock at the Academy Awards on Sunday night was real. No way. No how. No evidence to the contrary — no matter how compelling — can persuade me to abandon my world view that “elites lie, my own research is always better.”

And because Tom Hanks has finally been jailed for his crimes, they needed something to distract us from their degeneracy. Enter the “slap heard around the world,” an event I am about to expose as the biggest hoax perpetrated by our elites since they brainwashed millions of Americans into believing the moon landing was real.

Let’s start with the joke that prompted the “slap.” Smith can clearly be seen laughing at Rock remarking that he will soon be seeing Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, in a “G.I. Jane” sequel on account of her bald head.

What’s that you say? Pinkett Smith is clearly not laughing? And it’s possible that she said something to her husband, who then felt compelled to defend his wife’s honor? And that he’d be particularly compelled after feeling shame for laughing at a joke at her expense? 

Well first, I’d say that if Smith is incapable of feeling shame for “After Earth,” he’s incapable of feeling shame for anything. Furthermore, there’s no way she could have had the time to say something that’d prompt him to leap on stage with such haste. Look at how quickly Smith is on stage after the joke’s conclusion! It’s inconceivable that she’d have the time to say anything persuasive enough to get him to confront Rock.

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Oh, I already know what you’re going to say next. “She didn’t have to say anything,” you say. “She could have conveyed her displeasure with one look, and Smith would know what she meant,” you continue.

“She’s been open about her struggles with alopecia, a condition that causes hair loss, and Will Smith has been open about feeling guilt over not defending his mother against his verbally and physically abusive father. Furthermore, the pair’s relationship has been turbulent and it’s possible Smith — who already has beef with Chris Rock over jabs at his wife — lost it in that moment after catching her glare.”

You say all of this, with citations and all, as I stand next to my Charlie Day wall. Undeterred, I ask you the simple question, “If it was real, why did it look so fake?” You, a normie social media user, reply with this slow-motion video of the “slap” that does make it look as if Smith made contact.

Me, a savvy user of everything ranging from Twitter to 8kun, knows how to spot a deepfake when I see one. I also know that Smith smirked as he walked away, and no, it’s definitely not possible that Smith’s smirk can be attributed to him feeling satisfaction over slapping his wife’s tormenter. Not possible at all.

Perhaps you’re one of the more reasonable useful idiots our elites employ, in which case, you might be willing to cede some ground. You’d say, “I understand how some might have believed the slap was staged right after it happened, but I’m not sure how you can still believe that after the immediate aftermath, Smith’s tearful and chaotic acceptance speech, the fallout from the incident, and the reactions of those in the crowd.”

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But I already told you how this story ends. No amount of facts, logic, reason, video evidence or an intervention by my closest friends and family can persuade me of your position. And because me harboring such beliefs doesn’t ever lead to negative societal consequences, I kindly suggest that we agree to disagree.



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