August 14, 2022


Worst Houston restaurants for your enemy, according to Reddit

2 min read
You’d give a great restaurant recommendation to a friend, but what about an enemy? That’s...

You’d give a great restaurant recommendation to a friend, but what about an enemy?

That’s the question that has ignited Reddit this week in several cities’ subreddits, including the venerable r/Houston. User Raethwood posted on Sunday: “Looking for a poor quality yet expensive restaurant to recommend to an enemy. Any suggestions?” The thread now has more than 2,000 upvotes and 750 comments. Here’s what Houstonians said.

Bisou: The “vibe dining” hot spot, from the same team that owns infamous nightclub Clé, surfaced often in this thread of best-worst restaurants. User Bucketsofshrimp wrote: “Bisou. 100% the answer is Bisou. So expensive and such bad food.” The comment has surfaced to the top of the thread with more than 600 upvotes. Another user said the risotto had “so much fake truffle flavor it made my head hurt” and that the charcuterie board included “f–king yellow cheddar.” Later, someone wrote Bisou was “a place for Karens and wannabe bloggers.” Not everyone agreed about the food at Bisou, though. Hinoyminoy69 made the following argument: “The food is the best part of the restaurant. Everything else is s–t.”

Landry’s restaurants: Redditors agreed that any restaurant along the Kemah Boardwalk is a perfect recommendation for one’s enemies, particularly the concepts of Houston businessman Tilman Fertitta—or generally, “anything Landry’s” and “anything from Tillman Fertita [sic],” as two commenters put it. The Venn diagram between Fertitta and the Kemah Boardwalk culminates at The Flying Dutchman, which came up in many responses. “I’ve heard it’s just a money laundry [sic] operation for mobsters and from the service I believe it,” said Reddit user Deuter-of-Lazen.

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The aquariums: There was a lot of love—or rather, hate—for the dining concepts at local aquariums in this thread. In the opinion of user MrAbadeer, the Downtown Aquarium “holds the distinction of being the worst food in Houston and the worst Aquarium in the country.” (There was a shooting at aquarium last summer that ended in two fatalities, although the venue’s bad reputation precedes this incident.) The Kemah Aquarium, which is also under the purview of Fertitta’s group, was not spared either. “Where else can you eat over priced crappy food and watch fish s–t at the same time,” asked Elehhhhna. A Reddit user named Tilman-Fertitta, who is almost certainly not the real Tilman Fertitta, chimed in in the comments: “Because of this thread I’m opening a Bubba Gump Shrimp inside Gallery Furniture.”

Many other restaurants were thrown into the thread, leading to lively debate over the last few days. Some commenters went scorched-earth while others were more practical about the original prompt. “My suggestion is to not have enemies. Not always an easy thing to do, but it’s a worthwhile goal,” wrote Jerrybob, who definitely did not get the point of the exercise.

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